The World According to Laura

Lately many friends I know  have been suffering from loss. Parents and spouses, children and pets. While I know that death is inevitable, it does not stop us from having the sorrow and the mourning that goes with the process. Whether old or young, sick or healthy, death really sucks and it makes it hard for those of us left behind to continue, yet continue we must.

My mother died while I was a young adult and it taught me something that I have held deep inside of me for years. NEVER WAIT!If there is something you want to do – DO IT! Make memories with people. That way you will remember them and they will remember you. Never pass up the opportunity to tell someone that you love them. You never know when it will be the last time. Don’ t hold grudges, it just makes you negative and wastes time from doing the things you want.

Finally – Never forget your loved one. Tell stories, remember all the good times, gloss over the bad. Keep pictures handy and it’s OK to cry.

This was my Dad’s last Thanksgiving – we knew that his life was coming to an end – he had lived more than 92 years and it was a pretty good life. He fought in WWII, was a design engineer, outlived four wives, travelled and did wood working almost until the day he died. He was also very funny – when I entered his apartment after he had passed there was a folder on his desk marked with a post it note saying, “Laura open this folder first when I am dead.” In it were all of his arrangements and a personal note telling me how much he loved me and  that there were no insurance policies because he turned them all in. Of course, he was wrong, I mention this to him everyday, there were two policies that I’m not even sure he knew about. So I took that money and went on a trip. I like to call it the Bob Tykol memorial cruise.

I think of him everyday and now that I have shared this so will you. If you feel moved please tell me a story about one of your loved ones.

Today we remember the men and women who have given their lives in service to our country. Above is a scene from Arlington Cemetery. Because of my father’s service in the Army during World War II and beyond he is buried there. My father was 92 when he passed but as you look at the graves of the thousands who are buried there, you will see that most are young. Teenagers, young adults – cut down in the prime of their lives. I honor their sacrifice, but when you look at the rows and rows and rows of graves it does give you pause.

What can possible motivate governments to send all of these men and women to their death? There are a few things in my mind that are worth it  – defense of our country, combat against genocide. But often times I question the motivation of those in power – can this horrible sacrifice be necessary? Plus while we honor those who have served and died – how do we treat those who return, often broken both mentally and physically?

I honor all veterans for their service and I continue to hope that at some point we will not need to keep sending our people to their death.

One of my new friends just recently made a decision to suddenly retire from her job, leave her house and move to Spain. I don’t really know how long it took her to make this decision, but it sure seemed sudden. Wow!

Decision is defined in the dictionary as a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. I am a big believer in making decisions quickly. It is always better to just decide rather than agonizing for days, months, or years over what to do. Even if the decision you make turns out not to be the wrong decision you have at least tried something.

Many personality tests help to decide what type of thinker you are.

• Driver — Fact-Based Extrovert – Drivers are very strong personalities. Typically they have a go-get-it-done or whatever-it-takes personality. They can seem very dominant and are quick to take action. The negative is they can sometimes come across as stubborn or arrogant. Sometimes the personality type can come across as brash, running over others in order to get things accomplished.

• Analytical — Fact-Based Introvert – Analytical types are constantly accessing, determining pros and cons, making lists of to do items. Analytical types are constantly asking questions, almost to the point of getting too much information. Others see them as talented with brilliant ideas. However, they can suffer from analysis paralysis, over analyzing situations too much. If you have ever made a list of “doing things the right way” you are an Analytical.
• Amiable — Relationship Introvert – “Natural” people persons. They enjoy socializing and talking. They are great story tellers and often over commit themselves by attempting to please people. They also are good at communicating vision, getting others exited about ideas and issues. However, they sometimes cannot be relied upon to get things done.
• Expressive — Relationship Extrovert – Amiable types are laid back and are hard to excite. They seem to constantly be relaxed and desire a peaceful environment over anything else. They will go out of their way not to upset people. In fact, their indifference can often upset the people they are trying to appease. They will often wait until the last minute to make decisions and will often go with what everyone else is doing. They are deeply emotional individuals that want harmony.

I am definitely a “driver” but even I don’t know that I cold pick up and move to Spain in a month! But I really admire my friend’s drive to pursue a new life and opportunities! I do like to remember what Mae West said  “When choosing between the lesser of two evils – pick the one you haven’t tried before.”

” Spring is nature’s way of saying let’s party!”   

– Robin Williams

Living in Upstate New York, it seems as though it takes forever for spring to finally arrive. But when it does – WOW! The songs of the birds, the smells of the blooming trees and the color of the flowers – amazing. A few weeks ago there was snow on the ground and everything was grey. Now it’s a bonanza of color. Green, yellow, pink, white and red. Spring always reminds me of impressionist paintings – alive with color but a little hazy,

I open my bedroom window and smell the fragrance of lilacs.  Going out each morning to the garden with a cup of coffee  is like Christmas to me – every new bud, every new flower is a present!

My parents and grandparents were big gardeners. I loved helping out as a child learning to cultivate and plant and nurture the  flowers and vegetables that we grew. I love the old favorites zinnias, marigolds, petunias.  I am fascinated by lantana , begonias, dahlias and anything that is different makes me stop and look. I run home and plant and then I spend the whole summer enjoying the beauty and peace that is the garden.

As I work in my own garden I often marvel at the whole life cycle of plants. Spring especially reminds me of new possibilities and new opportunities. Everything is fresh and new – just waiting to explode into bloom and growth.  I’m going to try to take that into this next week. Let’s find something new and exciting that we can cultivate and make bloom!