Category: Optimism

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”
― T.F. Hodge

Maybe its because I am an only child, or maybe its some kind of personality flaw – but I really like getting my own way. I get really frustrated when, for whatever reason, things don’t work out the way I want them to. I rant, I rave and I obsess over the problem. This, of course only makes it worse.

The latest frustration has been my car. In June, I stupidly ran into a wall that I didn’t see. Really did a number on the car scrapping the whole passenger side. Everything worked, but it looked like hell.

So I did what anyone would do, I filed an insurance claim. Took the car to a collision shop and picked up a rental car. No big deal – or at least that’s what I thought.

In July, I called the insurance company to find out how things were going and had no response. Then I called the collision shop, they recommended I come in. When I arrive the car was pulled apart and they told me that they thought the car would be totaled. WHAT?? How is that possible? I scraped the car, yes, but seriously, everything worked, the doors and windows opened and closed. It locked, it drove. Shocked, I cleaned out my car, took the license plates and left. Then I called the insurance company, AGAIN, asking them when they were going to tell me that the car was totaled. This time, not only did they call, they told me that was not correct. The car would be fixed – it would take a few weeks and they would continue paying for the rental until it was ready. OK I thought – seems to be working out. Little did I know how delusional this was.

This was the beginning of a lengthy and frustrating relationship with “Kate” my contact at the collision shop. I would get a note saying they thought they have all the parts and then the next day, “something else would come up”. Every time they took something apart something else was damaged. That would necessitate more calls to the insurance company to make sure they would pay. By the end of two months I was incredibly frustrated. Ranting and raving at anyone who would listen. While the insurance company and collision shop told me that they would pay for my rental until my car was completed, the car was not getting fixed. Everyone was sorry, but it wasn’t really helping to get my car fixed. Covid, supply chain problems, parts coming in broken, god only knows what else. The frustration continued to intensify.

Now I began going through the stages of grief. By August, I was livid. They could have built dozens of cars, maybe it would have been better if the car had been totaled. In September, I was resigned. By October, I had accepted that I would never see my car again. At least I could find humor in the texts from Kate – from September –“I have this as our number one priority in the shop.” From October, “I think we have all the parts.” From early November –“The last part will be in from the dealer today”. Two weeks later – the part came in broken. I did get some encouraging notes – “your car is painted and in reassembly, the dash is in and the glass is being reinstalled.” (Why was the dash out??) “Your car is basically assembled but we are waiting on moldings. There is no time line for their release.“ Release – were they being held captive somewhere? “If you want to come over and see your car, you are welcome. Everything is together, except the door.” I guess my car was finally out of the ICU. I did not go.

Finally five months, almost to the day, after I left it. I picked up my car! I hear that it has almost 50% new parts, its a bionic car now! It does look good and it felt good to be driving in the car that was mine!

So what’s the conclusion of all of this? I guess that frustration is just part of life and while you can rant and rave all you want sometimes you just have to accept it. It helps if you can maintain a sense of humor and of course its good if it all works out in the end. But I still don’t know why they took the dashboard out!